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Apr 18, 2016

This week, the Parent Pastors tackle the issue of boundaries, how we communicate our boundaries to our churches, and why it’s important to our families to make sure we have solid boundaries in place.


Parenting Fail Segment


Manderson - Mild Concussion/Headache from Tickling Justus & Silas

Stout - Pastor fail: I called the SPR chair of my new church by the wrong name.

Bevil - Sophie got a tick. I tried to remove by force alone; Sophie did it herself with care!


Topic of the Week:

Setting Boundaries is important for both the individual, whether it’s the pastor, the pastor’s family, or the church member, and the church as a whole. It’s also important to make exceptions sometimes, because if we’re too boundaries focused, it can cause us to become walled off to our congregants. We want them to feel like friends, but friends with good boundaries.


Setting Time Boundaries:

  • How do you decide exactly what to say ‘no’ to?
  • How do you communicate to someone that the thing they want you to do isn’t important enough for you to do right now?
  • Do you decide on a case-by-case basis, or do you have a rule for what you will and won’t do outside of regular hours?
  • I think we all know about that one parishioner that will call at odd times with weird stuff to say. Is it OK to ignore their call, because you’re pretty sure it’ll be a waste of your time?  What if it’s important?
  • How does Sabbath fit into all of this?


Setting Expectation Boundaries:

  • People think that just because you’re the pastor, they have a license to say all kinds of crazy things about your or your family.
  • People think that they can expect to just walk up to you and take your baby from you any time they want. NOPE!
  • People may expect your wife to do things she’s uncomfortable doing because they think it’s something the pastor’s wife just ought to do.


How do we react when parishioners overstep our boundaries?

  • Don’t be passive, communicate your boundaries to people, verbally and physically.
  • Be patient and grace-filled, but also firm.
  • If you fail to be firm, it’s not being grace-filled toward your family.
  • Most people, if they understand why, will back off.
  • Nobody wants a pastor who’s a neglectful parent, but they’re also not going to prioritize your family for you if you don’t. The same goes for your overall schedule, your sermon prep time, etc.


Recurring Segment

We discuss the kid's TV show, PJ Masks. Are these kids dreaming? Where are the adults!?


Parenting Wins

Pam Anderson calls in with a win!

Manderson - Justus praying at the dinner table when cousin was over. “Thanks Jesus for coming back to life at Easter time.”

Stout - Ruthie has started telling jokes, and she kind of understands it. She told a joke that made sense and was mildly funny, but then followed it up by telling all kinds of nonsensical absurdist jokes.

Bevil - Sophie, Emma, & the Toilet...